An eternity of night
by MissCullen25
Summary: Takes place after Edward leaves Bella in New Moon, Bella becomes a vampire and longs to see Edward but she is alone. My first fanfiction :
1. Chapter 1: Whats left of me

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight, Stephanie Meyer does and in no way am I copying it. The characters are hers but this Idea is mine.**

_**This is my first fanfiction, I will continue if you wish me too. Basically after Edward leaves her in New Moon, she gets changed into a vampire, and she hasn't seen Edward since. It's short, I know, But I didn't want to write the whole story if you guys wouldn't like it. **_

I had no reason for anything anymore. I wished more than anything to be dead right now, but in a way my life did end sixty years ago, my grave at Forks cemetery proved it. I had nothing to live foranymore…except, him. But, he didn't want me, so why do I have to face this torture. I didn't do anything wrong, he's the one who left me, he left me unprotected and in danger and I have to pay the consequences now. Each day I have to put on a façade and pretend everything is okay, when truly; on the inside I am broken.

The memories of my happy human past would haunt me every second of everyday. How simple life had been back then, I knew what I wanted. More than anything, Him. Now, I had nothing to want; except, to fulfill the burning sensation in my throat. I leaped out of my window and calculated my drop to the ground. I managed to make it as quiet as possible and that's when I flung myself forward. I drove each foot hard and fast into the wet, soggy earth at speeds that are illegal. The green scenery flying by me as I practically flew through the air. Every time, I ran I would get a shot enthusiasm but it wasn't enough to make me happy. Nothing could make me happy.

Mist started to pour down from the sky and land on me. It felt cool and refreshing. I remember sitting in the rain as a human, I hated it. But I was foolish as a human; I used to think everything would work out. But I was wrong. My anger and pain drove me even faster and I heard three faint heart beats about 2 miles out. I raced faster to my target as the venom in my mouth pooled. I was close now and I could hear the pack of elk's every movement. I started closing in and I stepped back than used as much strength as I could to spring into the air and land perfectly onto the elk's back. I quickly snapped it neck and drove my teeth into its warm fur. I finished the other two and that's when I smelt it. It wasn't an animal, nor human, or werewolf for that matter. It was the scent of a vampire. Someone had come to hunt. Silent hope filled my chest as I thought of the possibilities. Was it sick for me to wish it was someone who hurt me so bad? I couldn't recognize the scent and my hope fell fast. It was probably a nomad on his way. I drove myself back in the way of my house. I never had the courage to leave Forks, In case he decided to return. Also, for Charlie's sake so I could keep and eye on him. But Charlie was gone, so I knew he was the only thing that was keeping me in place. I would wait forever just to see him again. The black of the night reminded me once again I was alone, and no one wanted me. He didn't want me.


	2. Chapter 2: First Sight all over again

**DISCLAIMER: STEPHANIE MEYER OWNS TWILIGHT, I DO NOT.**

I pushed the sad thoughts away from me as I reached my house. I managed to make it look exactly the same as when I was human. I refused to change anything about it. I took care of it secretly as Charlie got older since Charlie did think I was dead. Everyone in town thought I got murdered but my body was not found. I remember watching my funeral. I was sitting in the shadow of the tall trees silently sobbing to myself. I watched as my quiet, never emotional father sobbed his heart out as he was reading a poem and kissing my casket. I wanted to jump down and just hug him. But I knew I would never be able to, I was a monster now. I vowed to myself to take care of him. So I bought a house out of town, but I never stayed in it. I was always watching him, making sure he was never in harm's way. It was hard; it pained me to see him so sad. He truly did miss me, and I missed him so much. Before he died, he would visit my grave every day before work and place fresh flowers. I regret never telling him how I felt. I regret never telling him he was the best dad. I also missed my best-friend, my mom. She was a mess at my funeral. She used to come up every now and then with Phil to visit Charlie and my grave. But those visits stopped ever since Phil got ill. I haven't heard of her since. I still kept ties to my human life, Jacob. He was the one to save me from Laurent in the meadow, but of course I didn't know that was him at the time. I see him every once in a while when I run into him, but other than that vampires and werewolves weren't that close of friends. I know how it pains him to see me as this, but I didn't choose it either. I mainly though, missed my family.

I sold my house outside of town and just moved into my old one. Everything's the same. Except, it's an eternal struggle of loneliness. I would soon be starting High school once again tomorrow. I decided all my old teachers would be gone by now and my friends would definitely be gone. It was sad, as much as I wanted to move on with time, I couldn't. They say time heals everything, but it doesn't. Time makes everything so much more unbearable. The hours seemed to drag on. I sat the entire night on the couch thinking of everything and breaking my frozen heart into even smaller pieces. I couldn't think about him too long or I would find myself on the ground sobbing with no tears.

I took a shower and wished I could wash away the pain. I slowly put on a mismatching outfit with no attempt at all. Alice would be incredibly annoyed. I felt a surge of sadness as I thought of my sister's name. I wonder if she missed me, or she was glad to leave me too. All the times he told me he loved me, and he lied. Of course, how could he have loved a silly human like I was? I was so blind as a human. I walked out to my car; it was a normal tiny black car. I didn't care for it. I had to give up the truck since I figured it would raise suspicion if I was driving it again and it held too many memories for my comfort. I made my way on the familiar road to school. I could understand how my old family used to drive fast; driving at this pace was unbearable.

It was another cloudy day in Forks, as I pulled up my car into the parking lot and pulled into my old spot. I sat in my car, seeing as I was early. I was about to turn on the radio when a car pulled up. It wasn't a normal looking car, it looked expensive and shiny. It was a Volvo, but it wasn't the same type as his was. No, it was just a coincidence. Anyways, they wouldn't come back to Forks. I turned on my radio and sat there not listening to the music, but listening to the voices. There was nothing out of the usual, just normal human chatter I didn't want to listen in on.

But then, a big familiar booming laugh echoed through the parking lot and through my body followed by a shiver. My body froze but my mind was racing. It couldn't be. No. NO. Everything was in slow motion than, as I looked up in my rear view mirror and saw them. I saw Emmett first and my silent heart jumped. He looked the same. Big. Then I saw Rosalie and all of her beauty latch onto Emmett. I saw Jasper hop out of the car and walk over to meet Alice. My sister stood there, looking the same as ever. I wanted so badly to hop out of the car and race over to her and hug her. But I couldn't, they don't want me. I was petrified to see him. But I did. He was glorious. His hair was windblown just as I remember it and his face so was beautifully sculpted. My human eyes didn't do justice. But his face, as beautiful as it was, looked so sad. He looked like he was in pure agony. His eyes were a dark onyx and his lips were turned down. Now, that I notice none of his family looked happy. They all looked somber and had a touch of agony in their eyes.

My heart filled with joy as I saw him, them again. But it was also breaking, knowing that they left me for a reason. I was anxious now. What would their reaction to seeing me be? I didn't need Jasper or Alice to know I would be unbearably happy and sad. I decided it was time to go in. I walked out of my car at an increasingly slow pace which would make humans look fast. I noticed I wasn't breathing. They weren't far in front of me. I wanted to run. In so many directions, towards them, and back to the safety of my car. They were heading off to their classes as I reached my schedule. I would be starting off as a freshman, but I took some upper classes since I felt like having a challenge. I walked off to my first class. Chemistry. I noticed this was mainly upper classmen but I didn't care. I hope one of them was in my class, but then I also hoped I wouldn't have any classes with them. I was so torn. I knew though, me wanting to see them would always win though. I entered my class room looking down at the floor. I was terrified to look up. I realized the bell had rung and I was still standing. I looked up and my heart sank. Edward wasn't in this class. But Jasper was. He was staring at me with the strangest look: almost confusion with agony with pain with joy. His golden eyes were burning into mine with a thousand questions. I wanted to answer but I felt myself staring at him too long. I quickly took the closest empty seat next to some boy with a high pitched laugh. He was trying to talk to me but I couldn't hear. I was trying to look straight ahead but I could feel Jasper's eyes boring into me. I knew Edward would have read his mind by now. He would know I'm here. So would Alice. I wonder if he was happy, or annoyed.

The class was rather boring. Well, I couldn't really describe it since I was only there in person. My mind was in a different universe. My brain wanted to run away, but my silent heart kept my feet bolted to the ground. I snuck a quick glance at Jasper and his look was pained. I wondered why. Before I knew it, the class was over. The bell rung and everyone sprinted out of the classroom. Except Jasper, I tried slowly to grab my stuff in hopes he would leave before me. I was looking down and I saw his brown leather shoes approach me.

"Bella" Jasper spoke in such a soft voice with sadness. I couldn't take it.

I bolted out of the room; I saw Emmet and Rosalie in the hall way staring at me as I exited the room. I saw their astounded faces. I wished so bad I would turn around, but they left me. The bell had rung again for my next class and I didn't even know where I was going. I briefly glanced at my schedule, Algebra 2. I made sure no humans were in the hallway before I ran. I reached my class in 6 seconds. I walked in and Alice was in that class. My heart felt like it was going to explode with happiness. Her mouth looked like it was going to drop to the floor. I didn't know if it was because she was so happy I was alive, or so shocked that she would ever see me again, not that she wanted to. The teacher scowled me in front of the whole entire class, and if I could blush, I would be a tomato. I saw in my seat and I saw Alice trying to get my attention. She was throwing paper at me. I just continued to look straight ahead.

"Bella!" She said in such a quiet voice humans wouldn't have picked up.

"Bella, please look at me!"

"Please, Bella,"

I felt guilty, immediately. I turned to her and she had her saddest face on. It was her puppy dog face. If she could cry she would be. I wanted to badly to scoop her up in my arms. But I turned away. I didn't want to be put through the pain of being left again. I wouldn't be able to handle it again.

These classes seemed to end fast, well to me. I got up before everyone else and left the class room at a rushed pace. I reached my next class. I was the first one, thank god. I wouldn't be able to stand being embarrassed again. I started doodling on my notebook, like I was human again. The bell rung and everyone seemed to be seated. No Cullens in this class. I was sad yet happy. I was so torn.

Then, it happened. Someone walked in but I didn't look up. I didn't think much of it.

"Don't you know not to be late Mr.…...?" The teacher lectured yet asked.

"Cullen. Edward Cullen." He said in his beautiful velvet voice. My silent heart exploded.


	3. Chapter 3, Authors Note

I'm sorry guys! So sorry, I have just been having really bade writers block, and I have been super crazy with school. I get two essays a week, and a project every weekend, and I have found myself a little stressed. I will try my best to continue this story, Next update soon! :D


	4. Chapter 4: Memories

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT. STEPHANIE MEYER'S DOES. **

**Sorry, it took so long for the update. Really bad case of writers block…Hope you like it! :D**

I didn't dare to look up. For, I knew if I did, all would be lost. I stubbornly held my head down and continued my aimless doodles. I didn't know where he sat, but I could feel that familiar breeze of wind rush past me. I was pressing so hard into my paper than I created many

Class began but I had yet to look up. I just hoped that it would be sped up. But just my luck, the class seemed to go slower as I stared at the clock with silent prayers.

I wanted to run. Run so far and hide. But why would I want to hide when the reason for my existence was sitting in the same room as me? Oh yeah, because he doesn't love me. In fact he hates me. My dead heart silently wept at that epiphany. I wanted nothing else than to go back to the old days in our meadow, but those were just mere memories.

I could almost imagine his hand fitting into mine, and holding it tight and never letting go. I could almost imagine his lips barely brushing mine, but filled the most passionate emotion. Maybe I had dreamed that emotion. I remember the static between us that would consume me entirely. I would give up anything for these. I would give up anything for _him_.

", do you know the answer?"

If I could, my face would have been as red as a tomato. I didn't. I didn't even register the teacher talking while I was in the midst of my day dreams.

I shook my head softly and with my eyes down.

"Well pay attention than!" He snapped at me. I deserved it. I should not be day dreaming about impossible things.

I dropped my pen, and lifted my head up for the first time. I was staring straightforward at the whiteboard, but I couldn't see anything. All I could see was someone staring at me out of the corner of my eye. Of course, it couldn't be him. He could care less. He basically told me that back than…I silently gulped down the tears that would never come.

A loud siren broke through my agony and the bell had finally rung. I swiftly grasped my belongings and rushed outside. I could feel someone following me, but I was not in the mood to be hurt again. I kept going until I reached the outside.

"Bella! Bella look at me, please!" My former bestfriends shrill voice broke through my plans to escape.

Stupid. Stupid me. I thought as I turned to where the voice was coming from. I knew I would regret it, but nothing could stop me know. Might as well enjoy the view before the pain comes.

I saw all of them. Only a couple of feet away from me. Alice had the most heart wrenching expression on, and Rosalie was even frowning. Emmett looked as if he was about to cry and Jasper looked in deep agony. But it was Edward who disturbed me the most. His eyes were filled with happiness and sadness. I could see regret, and melancholy. I knew this was just some sick joke. They were probably trying to mess with me again. I knew NONE of them cared, or else they would not have left me.

"I don't need your sympathy." I blurted out, not thinking. Stupid!

"Bella what are you talking about?" Alice whispered.

"If you're just looking for another laugh, than go somewhere else. I don't need this again." I knew my words were true. They were here just to hurt me again.

"Bella…no. Why would you think that?" It was Rosalie's golden wind chimes of a voice that caressed those words. I was probably being punk'd and than they would all disappear again.

I didn't speak. I just looked at them. I looked, and walked away. My brain was congratulating me while my heart was begging me to turn around. I started walking faster before they could seduce me to come back again. I hopped into my car and skinned out of the parking lot. I could see their sad and angry faces in my rear view mirror. They would be angry, after all, their joke of the day just left.

I needed to leave. To go somewhere. I just needed to escape. I can't handle anymore hurt.

Truth is, these past years I have not been fine. I just put the hurt on the down low. I kept it bottled up inside with all those other emotions. But seeing them made those emotions all come to the surface.

Maybe I would go to Alaska and just escape. Or maybe just hide in a cave somewhere. I'm sure they wouldn't care. _But they do care…_A small voice inside my head spoke. But if they did, why did the leave me? Maybe the voice was right, or I was just going crazy. Who was I kidding, nothing's changed. Especially not those words that Ed-he spoke to me in the forest.

Why was I running though? This was my home, and I would surely not let them drive me out of it. But I didn't want to see them either. I was speeding down the 101, too far in thought to notice where exactly I was planning to head. All I knew was I was heading South. It would have to show them that I am not the same fragile human that they left. I was stronger, yet still weak. But I couldn't let it show.

I sighed with surrendence, and turned around and went to my home. I would not run away. I had to prove to them, they could not hurt me anymore. After all, I was dead. Being dead shouldn't hurt so much.


End file.
